News from the Alt-Left: Lindsey Graham and Marcus Bachmann Come Out, as Lovers

The Alternate Universe Where Hillary Won, Formerly Known as Reality

Sen. Lindsey Graham (SC) and Marcus Bachmann (husband of perennial vitriolic Republican candidate Michele Bachmann) finally came out. Finally. Turns out they happen to be lovers too. But mainly, they finally came out. All three persons involved switched party affiliation to the Democrats, as the Republican party, having lost its majority in the Senate and holding only a slim majority in the House struggles to persist as a political entity. According to credible reports from within his camp, Donald Trump is only hours away from announcing a new party which he plans to form out of the rubble of the Republicans.